Is Ego a bad thing?

Currently I’m having a little battle with ego. It is making things just not work out right or as expected. It’s like I can see all the great things that want to come into my life, but I can’t figure out how to let them in. So is Ego a bad thing or should I change my perspective and learn to see ego for what it is….a teacher!

Most depictions of Ego show Ego as the little devil on the persons left shoulder and higher self as the little angel on their right shoulder. In this visual, ego is the one trying to convince you to be bad while Higher Self is trying to convice you to be good. But is Ego really such a bad guy?

I once had Ego explained to me as an Elmo Projector. Now younger readers are picturing the little red muppet dancing and giggling, but us older kids knew this as the brown projector on a cart that teachers used (before smartboards) to project what they were writing up onto the board…an example can be seen in the photo below. So in my friend Ben’s example, we write what we want to learn on the piece of film and our Ego projects that into lessons on our future path. Looking at it this way, we are telling our Ego to teach us something. Most humans like to learn things the hard way, ergo ego appears to be the bad guy.

So what was my Ego trying teach me? Well this week it was trying to teach me that when I feel like I am standing on shaky ground that I need to change my perspective and know it isn’t the ground underneath me shaking, it is only perception of my world that is shaking. So how do we stop that perceived shaking and get back to what feels like solid ground?

For me the answer to that question was bringing in the truth that I am not alone, but if I am the best one for the job then I need to appreciate myself and keep doing the job (even if it’s only me doing the job most days). For some back story, my husband and I own several businesses together. My business that I like to focus on and I find to be more fun is a chemical business. So I do the regular customer visits (my favorite part), check and work on pumps and then do all the book keeping. He has been focusing on a different business (one that needs his focus so it is justified). In the last month, I starting doubting my ability to be a book keeper. After all, I have a masters degree in Bio-analytical chemistry…what do I know about accounting and book keeping? With these thoughts in my head, my Ego is teaching me a lesson and putting my fears into my future path….that is being expressed as the company is having issues getting our customer to pay bills. This amplifies that it is my fault and the vicious cycle begins. In reality I have been doing the book keeping for 3 years now and this is all just doubt and fear blocking me from seeing my greatness.

So what am I doing to stop this cycle and put myself back onto solid ground? I am taking responsibility for the good and the bad in my life. Instead of curling up in a ball of emotions (well at least I only did that one day), I am putting my big girl panties on and calling the accounting group at my customers office. Come to find out it was a slight emailing issue that effected a month of invoices for not just my company but for several companies…..not even something I can blame on myself. Now I have learned who to call when I have questions. I have learned that we can fix the issue and get invoices paid and that it is ok for me to check on invoices without waiting until they are overdue. What a relief that is!! It feels so good to appreciate myself for learning and doing a job. It is also important to value myself in the roles that I am in and to stop and see how much I have learned.

My next step is to let go of my fear that we wont be able to make ends meet while we work through this small issue and get those invoices paid. I need to stop seeing the world as feast or famine. I need to see the world as grace and ease. In a feast or famine mode, I will always be waiting for the shoe to drop and famine to kick in when things are smooth. Then I will feel that the famine must last awhile so that I learn to appreciate the feast more while I am in it. This mentality that is defiantly an ancestral limiting belief comes from being raised by farmers and being dependent on the weather that works in a cycle so every few years the crops will be bad due to too much rain or not enough rain. See the word cycle? If I allow this limiting belief to control me, then I allow it to put me on the same cycle. My business isn’t dependent on weather so rain or shine, I should allow only grace and ease. Gratitude for the beautiful relationship I have with the Universe that allows me manifest beauty into my future instead of fear.

So now the truth. The truth is that I need to speak my truth even if I am the only one who is willing to listen. My current truth to integrate is that I am my Ego, I love my Ego, and I am grateful for my Ego teaching me so many lessons that got me to this stage in my life. I also know that if I only allow projections of positivity, gratitude, grace, ease and self love to be projected into my future than that is what I will find there. It’s all a choice…fear or love. I chose LOVE! I choose writing as way to ‘speak’ my truth and I appreciate you being willing to listen.

As we are in this realm of evolution on Earth, the most important lesson is to learn to take responsibility for our lives and to love ourselves unconditionally! Unconditionally is my favorite word, no strings attached, just dust yourself off, let go of fear and love yourself for getting back up! Speak the truth and when others are around you enough, they will begin to accept the truth. Lead by example.